time is only time

I don't know what's up with me. I'm angry at the world. I'm so fucking mad at every person who crosses my path. It's a constant struggle because i'm trying not to be how i feel. I'm trying to get something out of nothing. And in all honesty, where does that get me? I keep focusing on other peoples problems so i don't have to deal with my own. i don't want to face it. and it's pathetic that i'm still in this state. when i should be better by now. but i seem better don't i? that's what people think, but i don't give a fuck what they think. just tell me when one of you can understand what i'm saying. what i'm thinking. what i'm feeling. it's gonna be a dead end, i know.
i need to pull it together. the marianne i know isn't like this. why am i not letting go? why am i still like this when it hurts and hurts me? this is such bullshit. i guess my beliefs about life have changed. i have seen what it truly means.