Losing time

It feels surreal. It doesn't feel right. It can't be. I don't really feel okay anymore. I guess maybe i was in denial and now i'm not. Now i see it all. I see that you're gone and i'm here. I wonder where the happiness is? Isn't it supposed to be here? Weren't you supposed to catch a break, just once in your life? I hate that you didn't have a choice.. no options to choose from. I hate this. I hate this grieving process. I hate these emotions. I hate that you had to go, i can't move past it. But you don't have to worry anymore. You're healthy now. No more needles. No more pills. No more pain. You're finally free. You escaped.