Something more.

I hope there is something more in life and that one day i may be able to find it. Something that is past the complications and judgments and pain I'm craving something simple. And i think i need to find it alone. Because in my opinion i'm not worth anyone's time. Hell, i'm not even worth my own time. But i have to deal with what i've got. And what i've got is.. me. So i'm trying really hard here to push past all my bitter emotions and my confusions. Trying to push my sadness away. So far uhh.. let's just say it's not really going as planned. But i have to hope that maybe in time it will. Maybe in time this will all just be one HUGE memory, and i will have moved on with my life. I wish i could see myself in the future. Perhaps it would give me the tiniest bit of consolation that things will get better. I'm scared i won't be successful and that i will be stuck just like i am now, forever. I don't want to be lost anymore. Eventually i'm gonna need to shape up. Eventually i'm gonna need to forget about these stupid people and their stupid problems. And their constant, dire need to invade into my life, thinking they know anything about me, when they don't. I wish i could just not care anymore ya know? But i've always cared. I have always overlooked and over-thought anything and everything. It's just who i am, and that's one thing that will definitely never change. They say the best things happen in life when shared. Well i guess i'm the exception to that saying. I wish i could say that i thought that would change, but i don't. With everything in me, i do feel like i will be alone.. always. if not physically than emotionally.