Questions.

Ever wish you could go back to one moment in your life and just stay there forever? I want that. I need that. I wish i could find that happiness again. But it was swallowed whole by all my fuck ups and every instance i thought i deserved it. I guess i didn't deserve it. I don't deserve to be happy. I am just here on this earth questioning everything. Wondering why the hell am i here. Did i mess up so badly in my past life, to get this in return? Your supposed to learn from your mistakes. Am i not learning? And yet i don't feel any of it was a mistake. Why do we want things we can't have? I'm guessing because of the challenge. Well i don't like the challenge. I need things to just be simple. I wish i could just make this simple. But it is so intricate and confusing to me that it's impossible. I'm not saying any of this to complain, i'm saying it so maybe one person can explain my life to me. Can tell me what i need to hear. So i won't be so lost. Ya know i go out almost everyday, and i feel nothing. I feel absolutely nothing for myself or anyone else. Truthfully i can't even look at myself anymore, how sad is that? hah. Like i've said before, i guess i'm just here. Just fucking here.