stupid.

I guess there's not many people i can count on. Either someone gets scared or just can't handle things. I've lost so many people. Maybe i've pushed them away. But i just expect them to leave. I expect them to turn around and walk away from me. That's just how it is. It's kinda funny because people will say they're there for me, but really they are not. They will just judge and criticize me. And then basically talk shit behind my back. Well more power to you. i don't have the energy to sit and try to please every fucking person. if i'm not happy myself, how the hell do you expect me to help you? yes i'm fucking up. i've done stupid shit, but nobody deserves an explanation. why should they? i just need someone to tell me that things will be okay. that i will get better. but no i don't have that. everybody i'm close with has they're significant other. they have that person to lean on. so yeah you don't know anything i'm going through. i know i'm sounding like a bitch but its the truth. i don't know what the point of my life is. does anybody truly want me here? because i don't really think i would be missed all that much if i was gone. ugh whatever i'm angry and pissy and i'm outttt.