21 years

It would have been 21 for you, 21 years of life. Instead you got 20 to spend. Today felt like the longest day of my life, and it's still not over yet. I felt like i relived your funeral again. Like all that pain that i had been shoving away, came back. I felt that sadness take over. I guess it was good for a change of emotions, because all i've been is bitter. But it makes me miss you so much. It makes me want to trade places with you, so you can be here living. It makes me regret so much of my past mistakes. And i know that nothing can be done, but that's whats so frustrating. That's what i can't seem to get around. So here i am.. once again.. lost and longing for what i can't have. Happy birthday jess.