No trust

I'm tired of the same reoccurring shit. I just want to spend some time reading or sitting in the rain or i don't know anything better than this. anything worthwhile. it's funny how much i hate change, but now i'm looking for it.. i'm craving it. and i just don't seem to be getting it the way i want it.
I observed this weekend. i sat back and watched. i realized its not my place to tell others what to do. so i let it be. but i'm not gonna lie, i felt disappointed. only the tiniest bit, because that's all i would let myself feel. because i know i can't care that much. i won't let myself care that much cause in the end i'll get screwed over. i just hoped maybe someone could see where i was coming from. but i know people are oblivious sometimes because their minds are infiltrated with thoughts only regarding themselves. so it's okay. i'm here..somewhat. half way composed and half way broken down.. looking for something to change my mind.