Could not explain any better.

"When i look around, you know what i see? i see ghosts. lost souls. people who don't know others. who do not know themselves. do they know their name? my name? what do names matter anyway? do they know how to breathe? maybe i don't know these things. but then again what do i know? maybe were wandering around without a cause. without any meaning. the big meaning. not life. After LIFE. death; a scary thing. but then again is it? what if there is a place we go. nice, serene, anything was as nice as you can imagine. a more than surreal life. maybe life is about why we live. that's why its called life. maybe bad, pain, hurt and any other feeling out there is good. because we get a chance to feel it."

"Life. i can't even count how many times i have said that word. right now in this moment in this time there is somebody out there laughing like there is no tomorrow. or as if they have not a care in the world, but here in my life.. this is where i sit and feel envious for all of those goddamn happy people. there is just so much goddamn shit that keeps loading up each and every day. and i hate it. this sucks, it makes me sick. it puts a void in between everything i love and everything that means too much to me. it makes it as if it pushes me away from everything. making me too careless about it. even though i know how much it means to me. it makes it seem as if i don't feel much anymore. it makes it seem like i feel nothing but sadness, pain, and misery."