All the time.

I can't even find the right words to describe how much i miss you. I can't find the words to describe what i feel day by day. I just want to know, does it ever get better? Is the pain ever eased? What about the questions, are they ever answered? Will anyone ever understand what i feel at this exact moment? Will anyone know the loss? Can anyone remember her struggle? Can anyone remember i'm still grieving? I hate feeling helpless. I shouldn't be ya know? I should have been able to do something, anything. I should have at least been there. But i wasn't because i'm selfish and now i'm incapable of turning it around. So i'll sit here and be what i don't know how to be anymore.