In Reverse

I think i've been pushed and lied to enough times to know that's how things are going to be. I do not feel one bit of sorrow or torment in my life anymore. My most bitter of emotions have come out. I'm angry but i won't show it. I'm betrayed but you won't see it. I've accepted maybe this is my karma for something i did that i don't remember. Maybe i do deserve this. And i'm honestly not feeling bad for myself, this is just the way things are. These are how things are going for me. for a while there i did assure myself that things could be conclusive again. I let myself be compelled by the love i had for others. i won't make that mistake again, i'm convinced of that. what i found out yesterday sent me over the edge. And i'm done. I never saw that coming maybe in the near future but not now. crazy how everything is the complete opposite i thought it was. how things just don't seem to make sense anymore. i'm tired. i don't have the energy to fight for myself anymore. or to fight for anyone else. i hate to admit defeat. But i admit it.