Dumb girl.

1. I was just reading some old entries from your blog. And it seems like your so different towards me from then to now. You used to count on me and let me help you. You confided in me. You seemed like you really wanted me ( just read them and you'll see). And i feel like i'm just chasing you and your not stopping to wait for me to catch up. And i want to catch up. I want to be up there running with you, but it's like you put up this wall and i'm blocked out. I want to be with you, going through things with you. Or else how are we supposed to get stronger? I can't be perfect and i know you would never except perfection out of me. But just cause i blame everything on myself it's like i'm pushing you away from me. And it probably is my fault. I mean were not bad, were actually really good right now. Its just something i needed to get off my chest. And at this point in my life my emotions are fucking crazy & i want to be reassured of everything. I want to be comforted. I feel so needy and i've never been this way. But after all that's happened i feel alone and scared and i count on you to be that person that i can just have. What happened two months ago, fucked me up more than i can imagine. I'm such a fucking wreck and it bugs the shit out of me because you and i both know i'm usually stronger than that. I'm never like this. And i know this is hard on you cause i'm questioning every little thing. I'm just scared. In truth of scared of losing another person in my life. Thats the real reason. Its the answer to my craziness. But just help me, i'm asking you.. i need you.