10/13

So it's my birthday. It doesn't really feel like it though. I'm sooo thankful for every single one of my friends. Thanks you guys! Its weird that i haven't receieved that phone call that i got every single year before this. I know i won't get a call. But i seem to keep waiting for it, expecting it almost. I don't know if i can be happy because of it. I feel so selfish that i'm here and shes not. So how am i supposed to be okay with that? To be happy and have a good time.. feels all wrong. I know it's supposed to be "my day", but that doesn't feel right. Don't get me wrong i'm not depressed or anything i just can't let myself be truly happy. I can't. I guess that shows i'm still not truly over it. I still haven't let it go. It seems impossible & i feel like i'm going at it alone because everyone looks past it like it never happened. Ah i just have to look at the positive in my life. well happy birthday to me !
bye